Planning to get married can bring up new perspectives in your life. All of a sudden you start thinking of yourself as a prospective wife/ husband with all the attendant issues that go with the role. Thoughts of children and becoming a parent flit through your mind- surely you aren't ready for that yet! After all, you only just decided to get married!
But then you start to look at babies in buggies being wheeled down the road and you realise that you are indeed entering a new chapter in your life and it all seems to be happening so quickly!
You now start to do things as a couple mixing more with other couples at the same stage of life as you and conversation suddenly does seem to focus on women being pregnant; men bottle feeding and of course the school run. You sit back and sometimes feel that you are an observer in this conversation but in no time at all you too will be caught up with family life.
Setting up your first home together, caring for each other and the many other responsibilities that come with marriage is a magical time but adjustments will be necessary as you settle into being a couple. You may have relied on your Mum to do your washing and leave it neatly pressed in your room now this task becomes your responsibility to share with your partner. When you come home from work tired and miserable there will not necessarily be a meal ready for you on the table.
You may historically have seen each other at your best you now need to be prepared to see another side of your partner especially when they are tired, under pressure or stressed.
Tip:
- Getting things out of perspective is quite normal as you are now moving away from your single life to that of a couple.
- Take it one step at a time. Expect changes to happen to you and deal with them one at a time. Don't rush!
- Hold your horses! Slow down and enjoy this new chapter before thinking about the next and the next and the next!
- Keep on seeing your single friends and do not isolate yourself but be aware that a resolutely independent lifestyle doesn't help the bonding process that is necessary to establish the strong foundations necessary for a good marriage
Remember that if you don't spend time together, you don't have a relationship.
Carole Spiers is a Stress Expert and world-class Motivational Speaker. Her inspirational style and range of topics are equally suitable for curtain-raiser, closing speech or a major keynote. She can carry a full-day event with confidence, either as a speaker or conference chair.
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